Sunday, October 19, 2014

Update: I have not vanished, I promise! #baby #homebirth #hbac #vbac

Hello lovers!

I apologize for being so scarce here recently. . . As you may, or may not know... I recently had my baby. Pregnancy and now life with a newborn keep me busy, but it is so rewarding. Writing will always be there for me, I'll always be able to come back to it. But this is my last child and I cherish these newborn days so much, I'll never get them back and they are gone too fast! There is nothing quite like having a baby, I'm tired but more than that I am walking on cloud nine every second of the day.....and night! 

D and I planned on having a home birth after the birth of our other two children was a very traumatizing cesarean that left me terrified of returning to the hospital for birth. We saw a naturopathic doctor/midwife for the pregnancy and she came to the house when I went into labor. After only a few hours of labor and only a minute of pushing, our beautiful baby girl came into this world...right where she was created- in our bed! It was the most amazing experience of my life. 

After laboring on my feet for five and a half hours, I decided I needed to get off my feet and rest. So I went to lay on our bed. Just two contractions on the bed and my waters broke. D lay behind me on the bed, stroking my side, rubbing my back and caressing me as I breathed deep through my nose for each contraction. I moaned quietly sometimes but mostly I just sighed and concentrated on my breathing. After another contraction I suddenly felt the need to get off of my side, I told my midwife this and she encouraged me to do as I needed, to listen to my body. I got up onto my hands and knees and D sat at the head of our bed, his back against the wall. I leaned against him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I continued my deep breathing, concentrating on the sound of my moans and breath, listening to his gentle words of love and encouragement. I knew I could do this with him. I knew I was strong enough, this was not pain, this was power, sheer, natural power created by my body. I told D how much I loved him, how much I loved this baby we had created with our love. My body pushed entirely on it's own. Not once did I have to consciously push or bear down. My midwife asked if I wanted to feel my baby's head and I did, she was crowning and I cried with relief, awe and amazement, I really was giving birth! After being told that after having a cesarean I would never be able to birth my own child... I was doing just that! Then, my body contracted again, out came her head and in the same contraction her body. That moment is nearly indescribable... It was beautiful, sensational and nearly orgasmic. I've never felt such ecstasy as I did in that moment, bringing our baby into this world with our love, as intimately as we had created her. Together. Never have I loved D more, never have I felt such a connection to Him. Not during power play, not even when submitting. Never.

I was only in hard labor for a mere nine minutes! It was the most beautiful experience of my life and I hope that more women will feel empowered and trust that their body can do what it was created to do. We are powerful, strong, amazing creatures. Birth is glorious!

I hope you've all been well, I've missed you! I will try to be around more often now that I'll have more downtime... What do you all think about Nicole Ryan's House of Erotic Horrors this year? As there are less than two weeks until Halloween, I was thinking of maybe doing something for the Holiday's instead? What do you think?


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